The Bike

Yesterday morning my kids were standing outside with some friends waiting for the bus to arrive. One of the boys, Levi (a first grader), looked down at our lawn and said, "Hey that's my bike! Why is it here?" (He left it at our house the other day, and only lives a few houses down the street.) He shrugged it off and they got on the bus. The bike remained there.

Then this morning the same kids were outside waiting for the bus. Levi (the owner of the bike), looked down again and said, "Hey! Why is my bike still here?"

I asked him, "Did you ever take it back home?"

He responded, "No."

I would have responded with, "Then why would you expect it to have returned to your home when you failed to do anything about it?" But I didn't. He's only 6 after all. 

But it got me thinking. How often do we have dreams, aspirations, or goals that we want, but fail to do anything about? Do we have a goal to get into shape, but fail to eat healthy and exercise? Do we want to have a spiritually strong family, but fail to live the gospel ourselves or teach our children from the Come Follow Me manual? Do we wish for our relationships to improve, but we remain in our comfort zones playing absent-mindedly on our smartphones, ignoring the very faces we love the most sitting right in front of us? 

How often do we want something and expect a result, when we ourselves are unwilling to put in the work? We cannot assume, like Levi, that someone else is going to do it for us. 

As I pondered and reflected on this experience, I thought about how we cannot expect to make it to our Heavenly Father in the Celestial Kingdom without doing the work for it. We must keep the commandments, have charity and faith, stay on the covenant path, attend church, study on our own, attend the temple, minister, teach our family, etc. It's not complicated. It's in fact, very simple. But it takes constant, consistent daily effort.

Spiritual Muscles

The other day before Matt came home from work I needed to move the swingset and the trampoline for the kids. The last time I helped Matt move the trampoline, I remember it being really tricky for me since I had just had a baby 2 months prior and had lost a lot of muscle mass. But I was determined to do it on my own (or maybe I was just too impatient to wait). I lifted the swingset, and shimmied the tramp over just where I needed it. When Matt arrived, the kids were excited to tell him how strong I was. 

It got  me thinking:

The kids know I have been working out each day and eating to fuel my body to help me build muscle. They are excited for me, and I am, too. So while they see my physical strength, are they noticing my spiritual strength? 

I've made a goal to read the Book of Mormon again (1 chapter a day), and a General Conference talk each day, on top of my study of the Old Testament. Since doing this for three weeks, I've definitely noticed a difference in my spirituality. I feel better, and I recognize promptings better, too. 

Do I emphasize spirituality as much as I do physical health? I dont know, but it's something for me to ponder on and help me be better. 

Revelation through my Doctor

Isn't it funny how God uses people to answer our prayers? Yesterday I gained an answer, or at least some peace, with something that's been on my mind.

A few weeks ago I wrote on this blog about impressions from General Conference. Leading up to it, I had been praying to find my purpose. To be completely transparent, I had become so caught up in comparing myself to my friends and those around me who have careers or incredible hobbies. I felt like they were really living life and doing amazing at it, and what was I doing? Just taking care of kids, cleaning a house, and keeping our finances in order. It definitely didnt seem as glamorous as getting certified as a nutrition coach, traveling to Greece, or being promoted.

But yesterday I attended Jordan's 4 month checkup with Dr Goates. (A little background on this doctor--hes in our stake--actually, in our neighborhood. He recently served as the high councilor over primary until he got called as a YSA bishop and Matt replaced him. We have a good relationship and I love having him as our doc. The kids love him and are comfortable with him, too). When Dr Goates finished checking Jordan out, he asked about how I was doing (since he knew I had postpartum for several weeks after Jordan's birth...) I told him I was doing way better. He told me I looked happier and looked great. He then proceeded to tell me how important my job was as a mom. He said there isn't another job out there of more importance. He said if his wife could be the president of the United states or be a mom, he would hope she'd choose to be a stay at home mom. He proceeded to tell me how badly the youth need someone constant and steady in their lives--who is always home ready to listen or give advice. He shared with me a study his wife did when she was a yw president. The results found that the young women who struggled the most happened to be the ones without a stay at home mom, or ones who didnt get enough quality time with their parents.

His words were so comforting and reassuring to me. It was almost like God had told Dr Goates exactly how I had been feeling--unsure of myself and doubting what I was doing was good enough. I know Goates felt inspired to share those words with me. I know that every life has its stages, and I'm only on this one for so long. Soon my kids will all be grown, moved out, or want nothing to do with me. I'll be an empty nester before I know it, and I know I will regret it if I dont soak it all up now. I hope to cherish my time with them more-- to not wish for time to go by faster. Sometimes, parenting and momming it can be so hard. Some days I want to escape. But I also know I'm doing my best. I hope I'm not screwing my kids up 😂. 

I hope they know I have a testimony of those gospel. I hope they develop strong testimonies of their own and remain strong in the church. I hope my kids can be the answers to others' prayers. I hope my kids can find their purpose and fulfill their roles in gathering Israel. I hope they know they are loved by me and Matt, and by Heavenly parents. I hope my kids are kind, responsible, respectful, and hard workers. I hope I can remember this for myself. I am doing what I came here to do, and there's nothing else that compares to that kind of work. 

Avery

Last night after sending the kids upstairs to bed I felt to grab Avery and tell her how special she is. I told her she was so important to me and our family, and I'm so grateful shes in it. I told her how much I love being her mom, watching her dance, her dimples and big blue eyes, and how kind she is. I told her how I love being with her playing school and library, and hearing her laugh. I told her I love watching her learn and grow, her homemade cards and pictures she makes me, and her smile. As she looked at me with those piercing beautiful blue eyes, she began tearing up and gave me the biggest and sweetest hug. I'm not sure why I felt prompted to do this, or even if it made a difference, but I loved the feeling we enjoyed together. I held her in my lap for a few more minutes. It was a truly peaceful and joyful experience. I love this sweet angel Avery.

My friend, Bri

My friend Brianne has had a really rough couple of years.  She has experienced trial after trial after trial. Most recently she lost her brother in law. After reading a message from President Nelson on Instagram, I felt impressed to pray about how I could specifically help her rather than offering her the "thoughts and prayers " I usually send. 

After a few days, my thoughts were drawn towards her brother in laws obituary and I had the impression that I should attend his funeral. I messaged a few friends of ours and now we are all planning on going this week. I know it will mean a lot to her to see us there. I hope to hug her and offer her emotional support. I hope to cry with her and hope she knows how much shes been on my mind. I hope to offer my love and share my hope with her. I know she has since been angry with God and left the church. Today during my scripture study, a thought came to my mind to write her a card and share my testimony on it. I dont know if it will help, but I hope it does. 

I'm so grateful for these little spiritual impressions. I hope to keep His Spirit with me so I can act on those promptings and help more people. I'm so grateful God has helped me recognize His voice.