A few weeks ago I wrote on this blog about impressions from General Conference. Leading up to it, I had been praying to find my purpose. To be completely transparent, I had become so caught up in comparing myself to my friends and those around me who have careers or incredible hobbies. I felt like they were really living life and doing amazing at it, and what was I doing? Just taking care of kids, cleaning a house, and keeping our finances in order. It definitely didnt seem as glamorous as getting certified as a nutrition coach, traveling to Greece, or being promoted.
But yesterday I attended Jordan's 4 month checkup with Dr Goates. (A little background on this doctor--hes in our stake--actually, in our neighborhood. He recently served as the high councilor over primary until he got called as a YSA bishop and Matt replaced him. We have a good relationship and I love having him as our doc. The kids love him and are comfortable with him, too). When Dr Goates finished checking Jordan out, he asked about how I was doing (since he knew I had postpartum for several weeks after Jordan's birth...) I told him I was doing way better. He told me I looked happier and looked great. He then proceeded to tell me how important my job was as a mom. He said there isn't another job out there of more importance. He said if his wife could be the president of the United states or be a mom, he would hope she'd choose to be a stay at home mom. He proceeded to tell me how badly the youth need someone constant and steady in their lives--who is always home ready to listen or give advice. He shared with me a study his wife did when she was a yw president. The results found that the young women who struggled the most happened to be the ones without a stay at home mom, or ones who didnt get enough quality time with their parents.
His words were so comforting and reassuring to me. It was almost like God had told Dr Goates exactly how I had been feeling--unsure of myself and doubting what I was doing was good enough. I know Goates felt inspired to share those words with me. I know that every life has its stages, and I'm only on this one for so long. Soon my kids will all be grown, moved out, or want nothing to do with me. I'll be an empty nester before I know it, and I know I will regret it if I dont soak it all up now. I hope to cherish my time with them more-- to not wish for time to go by faster. Sometimes, parenting and momming it can be so hard. Some days I want to escape. But I also know I'm doing my best. I hope I'm not screwing my kids up 😂.
I hope they know I have a testimony of those gospel. I hope they develop strong testimonies of their own and remain strong in the church. I hope my kids can be the answers to others' prayers. I hope my kids can find their purpose and fulfill their roles in gathering Israel. I hope they know they are loved by me and Matt, and by Heavenly parents. I hope my kids are kind, responsible, respectful, and hard workers. I hope I can remember this for myself. I am doing what I came here to do, and there's nothing else that compares to that kind of work.
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