My friend, Bri

My friend Brianne has had a really rough couple of years.  She has experienced trial after trial after trial. Most recently she lost her brother in law. After reading a message from President Nelson on Instagram, I felt impressed to pray about how I could specifically help her rather than offering her the "thoughts and prayers " I usually send. 

After a few days, my thoughts were drawn towards her brother in laws obituary and I had the impression that I should attend his funeral. I messaged a few friends of ours and now we are all planning on going this week. I know it will mean a lot to her to see us there. I hope to hug her and offer her emotional support. I hope to cry with her and hope she knows how much shes been on my mind. I hope to offer my love and share my hope with her. I know she has since been angry with God and left the church. Today during my scripture study, a thought came to my mind to write her a card and share my testimony on it. I dont know if it will help, but I hope it does. 

I'm so grateful for these little spiritual impressions. I hope to keep His Spirit with me so I can act on those promptings and help more people. I'm so grateful God has helped me recognize His voice.

Spiritual Impressions

Recently I watched General Conference and have since been re-reading each talk. Many of the messages focused on gathering Israel and our purpose. I had been praying to know what God wanted me to do (but the last time I prayed for that we were impressed to have a baby...so...I was really hoping that wasn't my answer again. haha). Fortunately, my answer wasn't another baby. But I did feel like as a mom, I need to amp up my teaching of the gospel and help them understand their true identity and their purpose. In a world that seems to have corroding values, I worry that my children will lose their way. I want them to know that I have a testimony. I know that they will be protected as long as they keep the commandments and trust in God. 

One impression that came to me was that I should record my spiritual revelations and experiences. My revelations and miracles aren't always grand. Oftentimes, they are small and simple-- experiences that most people might brush off as coincidences. 

I doubt I'll recall every experience, but I'm hoping that I'll remember a few and be able to recognize God's hand in my life even more.

Joy in Motherhood, and in Myself

I recently came across a post that Brooke Romney did to help me feel joy in motherhood. I'd like to share that list here so I can reference it when needed.

All the things that make me feel like a successful mother and all the thigs that bring me joy in relationships with my kids:

1. Cooking healthy meals for my family

2. Having a clean house for them to enjoy

3. Playing a card game with my kids

4. Playing catch with Taylor

5. Reading with Jacey

6. Holding my kids

7. Watching Avery dance

8. Watching Cam shoot hoops or show me tricks on the tramp.

9. Cuddling with Jordan

10. Nursing 

11. Laying in Matt's arms at night and talking with him.

12. Teaching my kids the gospel and scriptures from Come Follow Me.

13. Laughing with my family

14. Dance parties in the kitchen

Things that bring me JOY outside of motherhood:

1. Exercising

2. Talking with friends

3. Visiting family

4. Studying scriptures, Gen Conference Talks

5. Reading a good historical fiction book

6. Cooking nutritious food

7. Organizing and decluttering

8. Baking treats for my family

9. Serving a friend/ neighbor in need.

10. Writing

11. Dancing

12. Being outside

13. Playing sports like pickleball, or hiking

14. A clean house

The Miscarriage

I had my first ultrasound for baby #5 when I was 9 weeks. Because of COVID restrictions, I had to go by myself. 

After congratulating me on my pregnancy (because we had tried for almost 8 months), we went to the ultrasound room. I knew immediately something was wrong. I'm not too bright when it comes to reading x-rays or ultrasounds, but I know when something is missing. And my baby was missing.

The room went quiet.

The doctor explained he couldnt find the fetus in the gestational sac. I pretty much stopped hearing anything after that. He talked for a while, saying it could be a miscarriage, or maybe I'm a few weeks earlier than I thought. I knew I wasn't earlier. I had tracked this thing diligently. He talked for a few more minutes, then asked, "Any questions?" 

I sat there.

Numb.

I cried and said, "I just dont understand."

They then took my blood, and had me return 2 days later to get my blood drawn again. Doing this tracks my HCG levels. If they're doubling in number, that's good. If not, it's a miscarriage.

I drove home that night a wreck. Matt was at basketball practice. I messaged him to not linger, that I needed him home ASAP.

He came home and I told him what happened. He held me. I cried.

And cried.

And cried.

Every commercial that night happened to be of a pregnant person, or a new mom holding a newborn. I didn't want to see it. It hurt too much. 

I had told Matt about 2 weeks earlier that I felt too good for being pregnant. I told him, "Either something's wrong, or working out has really been beneficial this time."

We found out later my HCG levels were dropping. It was a miscarriage. I had to return to the OB. He explained my options, and I chose to wait and have the miscarriage happen naturally. It was hard because I wanted it to just be over. It felt like things were being dragged out, and I had to keep reliving everything. I still FELT pregnant, and I still LOOKED pregnant at night. I had gained weight, too. It sucked knowing I was still considered pregnant, but that there was no baby in there.

Fortunately I had told a few close friends: Shaeli, Marianne, and Dyana. Initially I felt foolish for announcing to them so early on. But it ended up being really healing for me to talk it out with them. These ladies were incredible for me to lean on. They cried with me, they checked in on me, they sent me cookies and other gifts, and uplifting messages. They were empathetic. They were there for me when I needed it. 

I didn't feel full closure until talking with Dy late one night where she explained a spiritual experience that she knows these miscarried babies will be ours to raise in the next life. That was something I was really concerned about. I needed to hear that for me to start healing. For some reason, I knew that to be true, but doubted it because I was so early on. The OB had said I likely lost the baby around 6 weeks. Dy has had a few miscarriages herself, and she knew exactly what I was going through. I'm so thankful for her. She's always so in tune. I'm so thankful God gave me a friend like her.

I felt impressed to tell Taylor about this experience. None of the kids knew we were even trying. None of my family knew. But Taylor is smart, and I knew she was concerned with all my "not feeling well" stories, and going to the dr. I couldn't lie to her anymore. She cried with me, and offered me some words of encouragement. She wrote me the sweetest letter. I am so blessed to be her mom. 

The very next day, I found a post on IG from the Church talking about losing a child. It hit home, and again, another impression came to my mind about this experience being for my good-- that I would be able to be more empathetic for people because of this experience. The scripture to Joseph Smith came to my mind: 

D&C 122:7

know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee ^eexperience, and shall be for thy good.

A Place of Belonging

My daughter asked me this morning how many years I've been serving in young women's. It made me reflect back to about 15 years ago right after Matt and I got married and attended the Logan 19th Family ward. As I sat in sacrament meeting sustaining all the newly-called young women leaders, I longed for the opportunity to serve in young women's myself. It looked like so much fun! I served in various callings like primary, the enrichment committee, and sports specialist. And I wondered, "Where is my place of belonging?" 

About three years later in 2008 Matt and I moved to Tooele, Utah. After about one year of serving in the Relief Society Presidency, I was called as the Young Women president of the Tooele 7th Ward. I was so excited to finally be in young women's. It was going to be so much fun... Until I learned how Young Women's really is. Yes, it's fun, but it also has a lot of low's. It's more than just a roller coaster-- It's more like a pregnant mom riding a roller coaster with a bunch of angels and two-year-olds throwing tantrums with everybody judging your every move from the line at the ticket counter. And that's not exaggerating. Ask anyone who has ever served as the president in Young Women's before and they'll laugh and reluctantly agree that that's how it feels. 

That was the beginning of my time as an adult in the young women's program. Since then I have served as a Mia Maid (14 year old) adviser, Young Women Sports Specialist, Stake Young Women's President, and now again as the ward Young Women president. Altogether I've spent 10 years of my married life serving in Young Women's. It seems like I can't escape this calling, and I have to wonder, "Is this my place of belonging?"

In 2012 when we moved to another home in Tooele, my bishop at the time (Bishop Dalton) told me as I was venting how hard it was serving in that calling, "Sister Southam, you are meant to serve in Young Women's. You will always find yourself in that calling." At the time I just laughed. I didn't know if his words were meant to be a blessing or a curse, but I didn't pay any attention to it. 

Until now.

This is my place. I love young women's. It holds a special place in my heart because it is where I developed my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I still remember sitting around the glowing campfire in the cold dark of the night surrounded by countless young women and leaders from the Hidden Valley 2nd Ward at Girls Camp. It was testimony meeting, and it had been going on for a while, and was about to be adjourned. Almost everyone had born her testimony. Everyone but me (or so it felt). But I was young, and scared to speak up, and didn't know how strong my testimony was. I had never born one before, and didn't know how to properly do it. (Sure, I had watched members of my ward every Fast Sunday get up and sob and tell a long story and then sit down, but I didn't have a story to tell.). 

I had a desire to bear a testimony, and my Heavenly Father knew that. In the dead silence, with the sound of a crackling fire about to go out, my mouth began moving, and everyone looked at me. There were words spewing from my mouth and it was my voice. By the time I recognized I was bearing my testimony, I decided to take over. To this day, I cannot explain fully what happened. All I know, is the Spirit was so strong that night. The Holy Ghost literally took over my body and bore testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. I cannot, and will not EVER deny that it was the Holy Ghost that night. I will never forget that feeling.

That feeling is something I want all of the young women I work with to be able to feel. To feel of God's love for them. To feel valued. To feel known--understood. To feel pure happiness. To feel hopeful. Yet sometimes, serving in young women's has a way of making you feel helpless. I can only do so much. I love the girls, and I try to show them that. What I've realized recently, is that ultimately, they have to WANT to be helped, too. 

Lately in our ward, we've lost a lot of girls. The COVID-19 pandemic shut us all down--from weekly church meetings to our mutual activities. In the months that we were shut down, we lost girls. They fell into some bad habits, and are complacent with where they're at. It's been a real struggle to get them to come back--to attend an activity or show up to a virtual Sunday Young Women lesson. 

But I can't completely blame them. In fact, the more I've served this time around, the more I've noticed how much stronger Satan is working on them and their families. He knows the power that families and church have for the girls, and he'll do anything he can to prevent them from accessing God's almighty powers. 

Two years ago, the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-Day Saints started Come Follow Me-- which allows for families to study the scriptures together and build stronger sanctuaries and homes. Last year (2019) the Church implemented a new program called Children and Youth that encourages youth to always grow by setting personal goals in Physical, Intellectual, Spiritual, and Social categories. It is no coincidence that the Church started these programs before the pandemic hit. These inspired programs and resources were given to us to help us during these latter-days, yet for many, it seems like a chore. Many families in our ward have given up on doing these things because they don't have the "time" or are tired of doing all the work. Yet, not coincidentally, those same families are the ones who have young women that are struggling the most. 

The role of the family and parents is vital to young women growing and nurturing their testimony. Without them, we young women leaders can only do so much. If the parents don't value young women's, why would their daughters?

As I was walking home from ward council a few weeks back, our Ward Mission Leader (who has two girls in young women's) stopped me. He told me he felt bad for me because out of all the times serving with the youth, now is the hardest. Varieties of communication have been enhanced, but actual communicating seems to have diminished. He apologized to me for the lack of support he and his wife have been in not getting their young women to activities and lessons. He said they had sustained me when I got called, and they were recommitted to doing that by encouraging their daughters to be there.

That was a real "aha" lightbulb moment for me. Parents! Parents are the key! What parent doesn't want their child to grow in the gospel and to be successful in life? Young women's does that! We help them gain leadership skills, plan and carry out activities, research and teach lessons, gather Israel, work hard, and love/serve others. Who wouldn't want that!? 

As I reflected on that thought, this section from The Family-A Proclamation to the World came to mind:

"Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations."

Young Women's is a SUPPORT to families by helping them meet the spiritual needs of their daughters. So why are parents NOT utilizing us?

For me personally, I know I can use all the help I can get. I wish I could help parents/ families see that for themselves. 

Now, I get it. As a parent, you can only do so much. Ultimately, your kid has their own agency. But as parents, we can also encourage and guide our kids to attending young women's.

Earlier I mentioned how Young Women's has become my place of belonging. The wonderful thing about it, is any young woman can feel that through coming to Young Women's activities/ lessons. At school, you can choose to be a part of a club, or team, but I can guarantee you they won't have a lifelong impact on you like Young Women's does. 

Young Women's is a place where daughters of God can feel wanted, loved, and needed. It is a place where they can develop various skills and talents, and nurture deep bonds of friendship with peers and  leaders. It is a place where they can come unto Christ and be perfected in Him. What better place could you hope for your kids to belong to?

Mother of the Year Goes to.... Not Me

Every morning I go to the gym to exercise. I love it because I have a lot of friends there (it's my adult interaction for the day...hahah...but seriously...), endorphins are released, I feel powerful and strong....etc. Fast forward to about 10 minutes after I arrive home.

Kids are fighting over who grabbed the box of cereal first.

Tears are rolling down cheeks from, "Cameron looked at me in a mean way."

Fights are breaking out between who has to be the flippin' monkey in the middle...

You get the idea.

So pretty much all the good I do at 5:30 in the wee early morning hours gets completely undone. (Perhaps I should schedule my workouts to after the kids leave for school instead?)

Anyway, today was no different. The kids actually all got ready on their own really well without any fights. They had a good 20 minutes to kill before we had to leave for school. They decided to play a game (but not the blasted Monkey in the Middle game...No! No! I banned that game [and 'jinx'] from this house for a good week because I was so sick of all the fights and tears. No, this game had Cameron sketching his sisters on a digital notepad. Jacey apparently didn't like how she looked, so she asked him to stop. I was in the bathroom and overheard her ask politely at least three more times. He kept laughing (pretty typical for Cam), and when Jacey said she was going to tell mom, Taylor replied, "Fine, go tattle tale AGAIN!"

Ugh.

Jacey ran to the couch in tears.

I lost it.

I was hoping they could work it all out on their own. But obviously not.

I was RAGING.

What makes them think it's funny to annoy someone, or to tease, or to laugh at someone when they obviously are hurting?

I was livid with both Cam and Taylor.

And then since I was already pissed at everyone, I got mad at Jacey for being so overly sensitive. "So WHAT if he draws a stupid picture? It doesn't mean it's YOU!"

By this point, the three older kids are in tears, and we are kneeling down ready to pray.

Not my most proud parenting moment.

Anyway, Jacey said the prayer, and in there she said, "Help us to be more like Jesus." It's a common phrase we all use while praying. So when she closed, I asked the kids, "Do you mean that? Do you REALLY want to be more like Jesus? It takes a lot of effort on our part....not just praying for it."

Then on the way to school, we typically recite scriptures. I was in no mood for scriptures. But when we finally got around to it, Taylor recited, "Repent ye for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." I exclaimed, "Oh BOY how we NEED to do that after this morning!" (I dont know that any of them got it).

Before they got out of the car, I wanted them to be in somewhat of a better mood. So I apologized to them for yelling at them, but I also told them that I didn't apologize for disciplining them to which Taylor replied, "We don't blame you." hahahahha

My kids probably think I'm the worst mom. And honesty, sometimes I really feel like I'm doing them a disservice and that I really am a horrible mom.  I try not to listen to those thoughts, though. I usually call my mom and dad, vent to them, make them laugh, and then they praise me and remind me that I'm doing fine.

I hope so.

Three Reasons Why I Blog

One of the reasons I keep my blogs is because I love writing. Not story-telling writing, or fictional writing, but rather about my life and the humor and lessons I learn from it. Writing is a good release for me--A release from my stress, my calling, my family obligations, my duties around the home, etc. A way to organize my thoughts without thinking about all of my to-do's for the rest of the day.

The other reason I blog is because I want my kids to be able to read about my thoughts and how I went through life. I think sometimes they think I'm perfect, and maybe this blog will be a real eye opener to them. lol. (Or maybe they don't think I'm perfect--in fact, now that we're finally entering the whole "pre-teen" years with Taylor, I'm almost 100% certain she thinks I'm completely imperfect lol).

But the last reason I blog, is because I have kind of a crazy dream that not many people know about. My dream is to publish a book some day using my life's experiences as a personal self-help book for other people. I love reading self-help books from the library--whether that be on health, parenting, or a religious aspect, and I find myself wanting to do the same.

I have a unique voice, and I realize that. I'm too sarcastic to write anything TOO serious. So I imagine that this future self-help book will be more laid back and fun--a quick read. Maybe on life's lessons I've learned the hard way that others can relate to, or spiritual insights I wished I had known when I was younger.

I dont know...does that sound silly?

Some day I hope to compile all my silly and serious stories to do just that. But honestly, I dont envision that happening for quite a while. But it sure makes me excited to dream about...

Tati's Talk/ Thoughts on "Social Media Fast"

I participated in the challenge Pres. Nelson extended...twice. 

A few months ago he challenged the youth of the church to take a break from it, and I had a desire to follow it as well. I was so impressed by how different I felt that I seriously contemplated if I should get back on social media at all.

Then this past General Conference, Pres. Nelson challenged the women of the church to do this as well. I was eager to do it again as I reflected on how good it felt the last time I had done it. This particular time it wasn't as hard for me to refrain from getting on social media. The first time I took the fast, I found myself mindlessly trying to click on the app where it used to be on my phone. It's crazy how that happens. 

Having a social media fast has helped me realize several things:

1. I feel liberated. Literally free from the cares of the world. I am more focused on ME and MY family. I literally feel happier. Not only has this made a difference with myself, but it's made all the difference in our home. (Because we all know that when Mom is happy, EVERYONE is happy).
2. I found that the things I "used to not have time for," suddenly became more important. I can't imagine, and I dont want to even think, about how much time I used to waste scrolling through my social media newsfeeds. Amazingly, I found time to really diligently read and search the scriptures. It's not uncommon for me to study for 30-45 minutes on scriptures alone each day. I understand them more fully, and I have received inspiration and revelation through this.
3. Because my mind has been less cluttered, I've also noticed how much more in tune with the Spirit I am. Several times I have felt prompted to text a fellow sister in the ward, or go to a neighbor's home to check on her and her family, and even be guided by how to respond/react to issues within my own family. The noise and distractions from social media had become so loud for me that I had not realized how little I was able to really hear and heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost.
4. My testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has strengthened. I know who I am, where I am going, and I understand what my purpose is here on earth. My testimony of our prophet has increased. I know he speaks with a loving Heavenly Father who sees the dangers of certain things in our day, and knows how to help us. 
5. I've learned what is truly important in life, and I have a strong desire to continue following along His covenant path in bringing to pass his glorious work on earth. My desire to attend the temple has increased, and I have had the opportunity to go more in the last year than I have ever before. 
6. I know that Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ, love ME. I have a strong desire to be obedient to all of God's commandments and follow Him.

This challenge may not seem like it would do much for some. In fact, I heard of a lot of backlash from women thinking it was a way to try to "quiet the women's voice." Oh how wrong they are, and how sad I feel for them. As women, we have a divine role to accomplish while here on earth, and we won't be able to do it if we are distracted by all the "noise" from social media, and don't heed the prophet's warnings and counsel. I am thankful for this challenge and for the way it has helped me to grow spiritually. 

Tati's Talk at YW in Excellence, "Goodbye Personal Progress, Hello New Youth Program!"

Welcome!

Thank you for coming to honor these incredible young women tonight. As we have served with the young women for the past six months, we have come to see the many talents and skills each of these beloved daughters of God possesses. What a great opportunity we have this night to be able to recognize all the good things these ladies are doing. As parents, you should be proud. You have raised some amazing young women.

It’s an exciting time to be in YW. We live in the latter days. We are living in the Dispensation of the Fulness of Times, in which the Lord has said: “… in the which I will gather together in one all things, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth.” (D&C 27:13.)

He added, “For I deign to reveal unto my church things which have been kept hid from before the foundation of the world, things that pertain to the dispensation of the fulness of times.” (D&C 124:41.)  Today, we are witnessing the fulfillment of these prophesies in this dispensation as several new policy changes have recently been announced. From changing the age of missionaries entering the field and for youth entering the young women program, to expanding the opportunity of being witnesses at sacred ordinances, to ministering changes, and 2-hour block schedules. (I still remember rejoicing when they announced that change). 

Along with those changes will be a discontinuation of personal progress, hence our theme tonight of celebrating the final year of personal progress. Come the new year, we will be focusing on a new self-guided youth program that allows for the young women to set personalized goals and reach them through the guidance of the Holy Ghost. While I have been grateful for the Personal Progress program and the ways it has helped countless young women to grow spiritually (including myself), I am looking forward to the new program. I know without a doubt that it will help our youth better seek personal revelation and draw closer to their Savior. 

As parents, you know your children best, and so we want to encourage you to work with your daughters on their goals. Just because personal progress is over, doesn’t mean we stop working towards something and growing spiritually. As leaders, we are always happy to assist. Working with your daughters on their goals will not only help them reach their goals, but improve your relationship with your daughters as well. 

As we work together, the Spirit of God will be upon us, and these young women. They will be better able to arm themselves with the armor of God, and better withstand the temptations of the adversary in these latter days when temptations continue to grow. I know that to be true. 

I testify that this gospel is true--That Heavenly Father knows each of you personally, loves you, and has a plan for you. I know that our Heavenly Father speaks with our prophet, who reveals gospel truths through him to us. I know God wants you to be happy and return to live with Him. You CAN do that as you follow the new YW theme--which we just read. I encourage each of you, parents and young women, to re-read it and ponder it later tonight. I know these things to be true, In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Tati's Talk, "Are we Not all Beggars"

Are We Not all Beggars

Tatiana Southam
12/31/2017

Introduce family, story of how we met

Moved here 6 months ago. Became rusty waiting to speak in church

This time of year is always one of my favorites. I love seeing the good in people come out. I love seeing people conscientiously serving other people in need. Just from our ward alone, I’ve seen countless acts of charity:

-people buy treats to help support the financial burden of a relative

-people take in another family’s children as the mother had to leave occasionally

-people supply dinners for a family who didn’t have time to prepare meals themselves

-Neighbors take a friend on a walk around the neighborhood to relieve the parents for a short time

-the youth singing uplifting songs to ward members, and cleaning up yards for those who needed assistance
-People waving at me every time I pass through the neighborhood. 

-People raking the leaves of their neighbors, even though they were also in need of help

-People plowing the driveways and sidewalks of their neighbors

-Ward members doing yard work for others in the ward

-I’ve seen people all over the neighborhood be “booed” or “socked” at Halloween and Christmas time.

-I have seen the love of Christ as I witness you all serve each other.

In Elder Holland’s talk “Are we not all beggars,” he poses the question, ‘How can we “do all that we can?”’ We all are in different financial circumstances. Some may have “a lot” while others may have “little.” However, no matter your financial situation, you can still do “all that you can” --Even those in the most humble of circumstances.

Jesus Christ himself didn’t have much. His monetary possessions were few. Yet He did all that he could to relieve the burdens of those around him. He healed the sick, he forgave, he loved the people, he taught by example and with patience. (find specific stories in scriptures)

As I have pondered on this question myself of “how can we do all that we can”, I came up with a few ideas through an acronym that I hope you all can remember--LIFT:

Love: Seeing others through God’s eyes. We dont look at their imperfections. I attended a TOFW Conference several years back where a quote from Sister Marjorie Hinckley was shared that really struck me. She said she truly learned how to be a happy person when she was about 50 years of age--which was when she stopped comparing herself to others. She was able to see other people as God’s children. Equal. I love going to the temple--in part because I love seeing everyone dressed in white. It is easy for me to see people through God’s eyes this way. If we are able to look at people this way outside of the temple, our lives will be filled with much more enjoyment.

Pres. Uchtdorf said “We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things.  That is the Lords way. Remember, Heaven is filled with those who have this in common: they are forgiven, and they forgive.”

Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals. (Monson)

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. 

D&C82:1 Verily, verily, I say unto you, my servants, that inasmuch as you have forgiven one another your trespasses, even so I, the Lord, forgive you.

Forgiving (Joseph in Egypt). 

Elder Holland: “...be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we.”

Beware of Pride (quotes): “Most of us consider pride to be a sin of those on the top, such as the rich and the learned, looking down at the rest of us. There is, however, a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up. It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.”—Ezra Taft Benson

Inspire: Praying for those who need help (Alma/Amulek and Zoramites. Enos)
Generous in fast offerings/mission funds/humanitarian funds: Fast offerings enable us to share our blessings with others. A minimum donation is the value of the two meals not eaten while fasting. A widow with three young children was out of funds and in debt. Her bishop, seeing a crucial need, wrote her creditors—and several substantially reduced her bills. Then, through fast offering funds, other bills were paid. This financial help and subsequent guidance from priesthood leaders restored the family’s self-respect and helped them become self-reliant. Both sons later served missions; all three children later married in the temple. (See Ensign, Feb. 1979, p. 23.)

Blessings also await the giver. Many who pay tithes and offerings testify that the Lord has opened the windows of heaven and poured out blessings unto them. 

Malachi 3:10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care,

I cannot see another’s lack and I not share

My glowing fire, my loaf of bread,

My roof’s safe shelter overhead,

That he too may be comforted

Don Ward and refugees

A journalist once questioned Mother Teresa of Calcutta about her hopeless task of rescuing the destitute in that city. He said that, statistically speaking, she was accomplishing absolutely nothing. This remarkable little woman shot back that her work was about love, not statistics. Notwithstanding the staggering number beyond her reach, she said she could keep the commandment to love God and her neighbor by serving those within her reach with whatever resources she had. “What we do is nothing but a drop in the ocean,” she would say on another occasion. “But if we didn’t do it, the ocean would be one drop less [than it is].”9Soberly, the journalist concluded that Christianity is obviously not a statistical endeavor. He reasoned that if there would be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over the ninety and nine who need no repentance, then apparently God is not overly preoccupied with percentages

Elder Holland said, “As King Benjamin taught, cease withholding our means because we see the poor as having brought their misery upon themselves. Perhaps some have created their own difficulties, but don’t the rest of us do exactly the same thing? Isn’t that why this compassionate ruler asks, “Are we not all beggars?”11 Don’t we all cry out for help and hope and answers to prayers? Don’t we all beg for forgiveness for mistakes we have made and troubles we have caused? Don’t we all implore that grace will compensate for our weaknesses, that mercy will triumph over justice at least in our case? Little wonder that King Benjamin says we obtain a remission of our sins by pleading to God, who compassionately responds, but we retain a remission of our sins by compassionately responding to the poor who plead to us.”

Friendship: Friend to ALL neighbors (members and non members). Make them feel included.
Lifting others up (a note, a compliment, a smile). Sharon Falardeau, Jim Southam, Dyana
Seeking out those who are lonely/lost (Jesus’ story of the 99 sheep)

Teach: Home/Visiting Teaching
Teaching within your church calling
Within our own families. Some of the greatest work we do is within our own homes.
Lead by example.
Each year for Christmas, our family likes to participate in a Sub for Santa. The first year we started doing it, our oldest was about 3. We found, with the help of our bishop at the time, a sweet older lady who we grew to love. We called her Grandma G. She had a rough life. A history of abuse, drugs, and medical issues. She lived alone, and the only income she had was from her social security checks, which was barely enough to pay the rent. We helped her out with a lot of BASIC necessities: pots and pans, clothing, and groceries. At first when we would visit, I didn’t want to stay long because of the cigarette smell that permeated her apartment. But as we kept visiting her to find her needs, we grew to really care for her, and see her as our Father in Heaven sees her. She was a child of God. And although she had made many mistakes in her life, so had we. Who were we to judge her solely off her sins and her past? One night before we left she hugged me for a while and cried saying, “You guys are angels.” She said she had not felt that loved in a really long time.

It hit me that night on a drive home that she hadn’t felt loved in so long. I began crying and my 3 year old said to me, “Mommy are you sad?” I responded that no, I wasn’t sad. I was happy to feel the love of Christ and to share His love with someone who really needed it. “ What a neat teaching opportunity for me and my daughter.

Isn’t that really what it’s about when asked how we are able to “do all that we can?” To LOVE people the best we can. To uplift those are are hurting, to ease the burdens that seem to fall on someone you love. This life is about relationships. It’s about our relationship with others. It’s about our relationship with our God. It’s about our relationship with ourselves. Its about LIFTING (loving, inspiring, friendshipping, and teaching) those around us.

Elder Holland: “While I’m not my brother’s keeper, I am my brother’s brother.”

Bear Testimony